Motherhood, Mental Health & The 'Circle of Control'

and a little youtube/life update...

Feb 08, 2024

If you are here for the FREE CIRCLE OF CONTROL PRINTABLE, it is at the end of this post:) Thank you for being here, subscribing, reading and commenting your thoughts!

As a mother, navigating the rollercoaster of emotions that comes with raising children can be both exhilarating and overwhelming. From the joy of watching your little ones grow to the frustration of managing tantrums and conflicts, it's a journey filled with highs and lows. For a long time, I struggled with regulating my emotions amidst the chaos of parenthood as it seemed sometimes to trigger things from my childhood that had been long buried. However, my perspective shifted when I discovered the transformative power of the "Circle of Control" therapy strategy.

The Circle of Control is a therapeutic technique based on the idea that there are aspects of our lives we can control, those we can influence, and those we must accept as beyond our control. This concept, popularized by Stephen Covey in his book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People," provides a framework for understanding where to direct our energy and focus. As a mom, implementing this strategy has been a game-changer in my journey toward emotional balance and resilience.

Here's how the Circle of Control has helped me better regulate my emotions as a mom:

1. Identifying What's Within My Control: One of the key principles of the Circle of Control is recognizing the factors we have power over. As a mom, I realized that while I couldn't control everything that happened in my children's lives, there were certain aspects I could influence, such as setting boundaries, providing love and support, and modeling positive behavior. By focusing on these areas, I felt more empowered and proactive in my parenting approach.

2. Letting Go of the Uncontrollable: Parenthood often comes with a sense of responsibility for our children's happiness and well-being. However, I've learned that there are many things beyond my control, such as their personalities, choices, and external circumstances. Instead of expending energy on worrying about these aspects, I've embraced the practice of acceptance and letting go. This mindset shift has brought me a sense of peace and freedom, allowing me to be more present and supportive without feeling overwhelmed by constant worry.

3. Building Resilience: By honing in on what I can control and accepting what I can't, I've developed a greater sense of resilience in the face of challenges. Whether it's dealing with a difficult parenting situation or managing my own emotions, the Circle of Control has taught me to focus on my response rather than the circumstances themselves. This shift in perspective has helped me bounce back more quickly from setbacks and approach parenting with a greater sense of calm and confidence.

4. Modeling Emotional Regulation for My Children: As parents, we play a crucial role in shaping our children's emotional intelligence. By practicing the principles of the Circle of Control in my own life, I've become a better role model for my kids. They see me managing my emotions in healthy ways, whether it's taking deep breaths when I feel overwhelmed or calmly addressing conflicts. This sets a positive example for them to follow and equips them with valuable coping skills as they navigate their own emotions. This has been the hardest because they.are.always.watching; and let’s be honest, we all have our days, but communication goes hand-in-hand with this as well. Not only do I explain that I make mistakes and am not perfect, I also reassure them, that I will ALWAYS be here for them - no matter what - because we are all capable of not being our best selves on any given day.

Incorporating the Circle of Control strategy into my life as a mom has been a transformative journey. It has empowered me to approach parenthood with greater clarity, resilience, and emotional balance. While the ups and downs of raising children will always present challenges, having this framework has provided me with a valuable tool for navigating the complexities of motherhood with grace and confidence. By focusing on what I can control, accepting what I can't, and embracing the power of resilience, I've found a newfound sense of equilibrium that enriches both my life and the lives of my children.

silhouette of person's hands forming heart

Speaking of what we can’t control and literally taking a page out of my own book today, I wanted to update the fam on something I have gotten questions about lately - the youtube channel. We are currently taking a break from youtube and in the spirit of control, it was the only way we could take control of a personal situation that came up. Youtube has been a source of some mental health challenges for our family and we thought that the best way to move forward is to simply take a break for now. Will we come back? More than likely, yes, but for right now the we needed to privatize everything and simply take a step back from it in order to simply work on what we could control rather than dwell on what was out of out of our control. Thank you for the years of support you all have given us and please stay subscribed so you get notifications when we do end our hiatus.

If you are looking to be more in tune with your mental health this year, focus on mindfulness, and intentionally work on your mental health without the influence of media now and in the new year, check out our CIRCLE OF CONTROL PRINTABLE.

Yes it is free! No strings attached:)

BTW, WELCOME to all of our NEW subscribers! This newsletter has been an amazing and gratifying way to connect with you this year and if you are loving it, please feel free to share it with someone you care about - just as you would a social media post - thank you for being here and we look forward to so many more great newsletters, printables and connections in the new year.

BTWx2, our new MINDFULNESS JOURNAL* is now available to order with 2 day-free prime worldwide shipping:) Thank you to all of you who have been diving into this journey along with us - the MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS MOST JOURNAL* hit #1 new release because of you all so thank you! Let’s continue to end the stigma attached to this topic and let the end start with us - ok?

Thank you for being here and see you in two weeks right back here!

xo, Kim

FREETOFAMILY

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